


Ruled By Fate

by I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Dark Sam Winchester, Destiel if you squint - Freeform, Hell, Hurt, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester's powers, Samifer if you squint, The Cage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 00:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13112094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting/pseuds/I_Wish_I_Was_Interesting
Summary: A blink of eyes and another shaky breath, always so shaky. The ability of being able to be grounded to this surreal reality was one he had lost years ago.Sam Winchester looked into the eyes of the devil and he felt himself slip away.He wasn’t afraid of Lucifer, he was afraid of what Lucifer could do to him.And so Sam tried to bring himself back to the fractured world, the one where his brother always shot him worried glances, where Cas looked at him forlornly and where they’d just been told that Lucifer was evoking the original plan of Sam being the Boy King of Hell.





	Ruled By Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays! I hope that whatever you're celebrating you're having a fun and festive time surrounded by the people you love!!!
> 
> This one goes out to the wonderful, beautiful, supportive and amazing Walters. Thank you for inspiring me, making me laugh and sticking by me. I can't believe it's only been a year because I feel like I've known you my whole life. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and I love you to the moon and back.
> 
> So this piece of flaming garbage is just something I've been thinking about for awhile so I tried to actually write it.
> 
> Characters feel out of character and parts feel rushed but please enjoy.
> 
> I own nothing but my (many) mistakes

_And so I burn,_  
_Because I must._

 _And so I suffer,_  
_So you will not._

 _And here I give,_  
_My soul to you._

 _And you will win,_  
_For I choose to lose._

* * *

 

A blink of eyes and another shaky breath, always so shaky. The ability of being able to be grounded to this surreal reality was one he had lost years ago.

Sam Winchester looked into the eyes of the devil and he felt himself slip away.

He wasn’t afraid of Lucifer, he was afraid of what Lucifer could do to him.

Sam had been tortured, he had been stabbed, shot, sliced, bruised, whipped, flayed, broken, bent, burnt, Sam was more then acquainted with physical pain. And although Lucifer enjoyed that aspect of torture, again, it wasn’t what Sam feared.

Sam feared the influence Lucifer had over him, the way he had to hide a flinch and the way Lucifer would smile because of course he saw it. He feared the way Lucifer would whisper _mine_ and how Sam knew it was true.

Sam knew fear and he knew pain, they were too familiar aspects of his too broken life.

And so Sam tried to bring himself back to the fractured world, the one where his brother always shot him worried glances, where Cas looked at him forlornly and where they’d just been told that Lucifer was evoking the original plan of Sam being the Boy King of Hell.

So yeah, Sam was somewhat scared of what Lucifer could do.

 

* * *

 

 “Sam? Sammy?” Dean repeated for what felt like the thousandth time.

Cas had come in with bad news, the only type of news they seemed to receive these days.

“Hm?” Sam finally answered seeming distracted.

“You still with us?” Dean asked unable to hide the small hint of worry from his voice.

Sam nodded and turned to Cas, “So where’s the intel from?”

Cas snuck a quick glance at Dean before answering Sam’s question, “Crowley, and he got it from some low level demons who got it from Dagon who supposedly got it from Lucifer.”

Dean frowned, “Dagon… why does that name sound familiar?”

Cas opened his mouth to speak but Sam started before him clearly paler then before, “Dagon’s a Prince of Hell… like Azazel.”

Dean’s jaw dropped a little, he searched to meet Cas’ pitying gaze, how could he have forgotten the Princes of Hell… the goddamn assholes who had ruined his and his family’s life. Dean swallowed thickly, “That’s a long list of people… any chance the information’s wrong?” Dean asked trying to change the subject.

“I do not know. I was going to query into this further but I though you should know first.” Cas said, again giving Sam that stupid pitying gaze.

“Thanks Cas, we’ll look into it too and see what we can find,” Sam said but Dean saw the signs and he knew his little brother was disappearing slowly crawling back into a small corner of his mind and away from all this.

As Sam faded away, Dean got up and gestured Cas to follow him, the walked from the library to the kitchen away from Sam.

“Is he okay?” Cas asked, concern colouring his voice.

Dean sighed, low and heavy. “Honestly? I don’t know… this is a biggie and despite what he says, he’s been struggling.

Dean thought back to all the nightmares, the lack of eating, the freakish over exercising and the constant _I’m fines_ that littered their lives. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, “Is there any chance this is fake?”

Cas now directed that pitying look to Dean, “I unfortunately believe that this is most likely true, but I of course will make sure that is the case before any direct action is taken.”

“Thanks Cas,” Dean tried for a small smile but he felt it become more of a grimace.

 

* * *

 

He was dodging landmines, he had no idea where they were just that they were hidden somewhere so close. Each step was one of safety or destruction and Sam had no idea what direction he was meant to go in.

His mind was a minefield, each a trigger to some reminder of his tragic past and each more horrific then the last.

He was stuck in a cinema with a showing of the lowest points in his life, Jess dying, Lucifer, Dean dying, Lucifer, Azazel, Dean dying again, Lucifer and Lucifer. Lucifer seemed to be the only constant thing in Sam’s life. Not a good constant or a nice one, but a constant all the same.

Boy King Sam Winchester. The thing he worked so hard to avoid, the thing he tried so hard to escape from… He was meant to have won that battle. It was meant to be over.

He supposed Lucifer knew it would rile him up the most… after all, Lucifer knew Sam best out of everyone… even Dean. The thought made Sam sick to his stomach, the ever-constant loom of regret that he had more memories with Lucifer then he did with Dean… or anyone else.

Swallowing that thought Sam tried to bring himself back down to earth, this was no time for a pity party… he had work to do. If this wasn’t just rumours and this was actually happening, then Sam needed to be prepared… and so to the books he went.

 

* * *

 

Cas and Dean talked for about an hour and with a brief hug and awkward pat on the back, Castiel left to go and find out what he could. As Dean walked back into the library, he saw a familiar but surprising sight. Sam was hunched over six books scrawled out on the table muttering to himself and taking notes.

Dean hadn’t expected, but realised he probably should’ve guessed, that Sam would have gotten straight into the research; Sam wasn’t the type to sit around do nothing except feel bad for himself.

“Heya Sammy, watcha doing?” Dean asked cautiously.

Sam looked up with wide eyes, “Look Lucifer obviously has some sort of connection with certain demons through the cage, and if we could find a way to sever that bond then he can’t give them any instructions of what to do. Or we can find a way to power down Dagon, she’s obviously the ringleader here so getting rid of her would be like cutting the head off. Plus I have a bunch new ruins I’m making to ward the bunker against pretty much anything, I think Cas might have to get something so it’ll allow him in but I’m sure I could work something out. And-“, Sam rambled.

“Dude,” Dean cut him off, “Breathe okay. Look let’s just sleep it off okay; we’ll go to bed, get up have a nice breakfast and then we’ll work out a plan. I’m sure Cas will have some info by then so there’s no need to freak out, alright?”

“Dean… we need to work while we’re ahead, we can’t let this get the better of us! Not again! We need to be prepared.”

“And we’ll be prepared, after a good night’s sleep and a good meal.”

Sam sighed heavily, “Fine.”

Dean smile widely and watched as Sam put the books away and grabbed his laptop.

“Night,” Sam mumbled as he waved past Dean.

“Night Sammy.”

Dean sighed in relief, he was surprised it was that easy, but hey, never look a gift horse in its mouth. And maybe this was a sign things were getting better, maybe things could be normal…well at least by the Winchester definition.

 

* * *

 

Yeah, there was literally no way Sam was going to just waste twelve hours sleeping when there was work to be done.

Dean was wearing the face Sam often called the ‘mum face’ where if Sam argued or disagreed there were going to be major issues and most likely a major fight. Easier to just do what Dean wants or at least make Dean think Sam had done he wanted.

Sam had brought in his laptop where he had the entire Men Of Letters Archive uploaded onto it. More annoying to find stuff since he hadn’t perfected his virtual organisational system yet and more of a pain to read since Sam always preferred hardcopies, it definitely wasn’t perfect but it would do until Dean eventually fell asleep and Sam could sneak back into the library.

Sam was surprised Dean believed him so easily; it brought a pang of the everlasting guilt that never seemed to leave, nestled in his stomach and in his chest. Sam swallowed through it and started drawing up some new wards.

Dean didn’t realise how much Sam’s time in hell had affected him, he didn’t know that he still spoke fluent Enochian, though he was still struggling with reading and writing it but getting better each day. Dean didn’t know that Sam still dreamt of his time in hell, because now Sam learnt how to shut himself up and even put a silencing charm on his room just in case. Dean didn’t know that Sam could feel each scar on his soul as if they were as fresh as cut in his arm. Dean didn’t know that Sam still had to push down on his hand whenever he felt distanced, lost, or scared. Dean didn’t know a lot of things because Sam didn’t want him to know. Dean didn’t know a lot of things, because he couldn’t ever know.

So Sam worked on little drawings using the information from the MoL database as a reference and worked for a few hours.

Long after midnight, Sam crept to his brother’s door and listened quietly. He heard the heavy breathing and the slight snores come from behind it and then quietly padded off to the library.

He walked towards the pile of books he’d been trying to get through before Dean interrupted him and went back to the section of Princes of Hell.

Obviously if this was all real, Dagon would be a major player in it. Sam couldn’t ever forget how close Azazel came to reaching this goal… how obsessive and powerful he was. If Dagon were anything like Azazel then they’d be in big trouble.

Sam had done research on the Princes of Hell before. As soon as he found out Azazel’s name, he’d started and he hadn’t stopped… not ever really. The Princes of Hell took their mum away from them… they took his life and his trust and… and everything. So yeah… Sam knew a bit about them, but not specifically Dagon. So although Sam knew what books to look at, he didn’t know what he’d find out, and honestly, that unnerved him.

 

* * *

 

Sam worked and worked and worked. He lost track of time and didn’t even notice when the sun had risen. He’s planned on hiding back in his room so Dean wouldn’t be suspicious but Sam just got so lost in the world of research that everything else seemed to slip away.

Dean walked in. And he was not happy.

“Sam.” He said his voice steely.

Sam didn’t even register the noise let alone the fact Dean was standing a mere five feet away from him.

“Sam!” Dean said louder.

Sam snapped out of wherever he was and met eyes with Dean in confusion until he realised what was going on. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, give an excuse, make something up, but nothing came out.

“Dude… I thought we’d stopped doing this to each other! I thought we’d stopped lying!” Dean said his voice partly hurt, partly annoyed and partly worried. Worried about him Sam realised with another pang of guilt.

“Dean…” Sam began, his voice low and gruff, “Look… I’m sorry, it’s just I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with all this. And you were going into your mum phase so I knew you weren’t going to take no for an answer. I just… I needed this Dean, I need to be prepared.” Sam finished his voice almost pleading at the end.

Dean shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look we are so not done talking about this but I’ll drop it for now okay. Come on, you need coffee and food,” he said before turning and walking to the kitchen.

Sam breathed a shaky sigh of relief, he knew he wasn’t out of the danger zone just yet but that definitely could’ve gone worse. Sam scolded himself for being so stupid and made a mental note not to let Dean see anything like that again… he’d lose it.

 

* * *

 

Dean watched as Sam walked into the kitchen with tired eyes. It wasn’t Sam’s first all-nighter and nor would it be his last but that didn’t stop the budding worry in Dean’s chest grow just a little bit bigger.

Dean put down a plate of French toast and some berries next to them with a cup of coffee. Sam smiled gratefully and reached for his coffee.

“So did you find anything helpful last night?” Dean asked.

Sam sighed, low and heavy, “Kind of… nothing directly to the whole Boy King thing, the Men of Letters wouldn’t even know what that meant since it was after their time. But I’m more familiar with Dagon, she’s less obsessive then Azazel but just as loyal, just as powerful and just as dangerous. She flew off the grid around the 1800’s. It looked like she was bored of playing around and just sort of hid out, not seen since. But I did some digging and collated some maps, charts, and data and it looks like she’s back on the grid. I’m not sure if I could create an algorithm to find her and if I could it’d take some time but…” Sam shrugged, “I guess it’s a start.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, “Well someone’s been busy.”

Sam shrugged again and turned his attention to his French toast that he continued to pick at rather than eat.

 

* * *

 

Falling. Falling. Falling.

Always falling, forever tumbling down into darkness that just gets darker.

Each pain a brighter shade of red then he’d ever known.

Each whimper an echo in the complete and utter silence that surrounds him.

Home.

Sam tried hard not to dwell on the thoughts of the cage; they were too painful and distracting.

They always seemed to pop up at random times, sometimes Sam could work out why he started thinking about it and other times… he just couldn’t explain.

The fact that Lucifer managed to infect Sam’s life so easily and without a single care made Sam sick to his stomach. He was a puppet, and a broken one of that.

 _Not even good enough for Satan_ he thought bitterly to himself.

Pushing the thoughts out of his head, or at least trying to, Sam looked up and then felt something familiar enter the bunker. He looked up and saw Cas looking grim and serious.

Sam knew what that look meant.

 

* * *

Dean wasn’t going to lie; he definitely felt a wave of immense relief when Cas returned. He snuck a look at his brother who was looking at Cas expectantly, eyes so wide that he looked almost savage, so hungry for information… so desperate.

Dean cleared his throat, “So…?” he asked nervously.

Despite not needing to, Cas took a deep breath, “The cage is weaker than it used to be and it is confirmed that he… that Lucifer has been communicating to his most trusted including Dagon to which he has indeed instructed her to reinitiate Sam as the Boy King of Hell as the original plan so stated. I do not know what their plan is and I do not know how they will do it… but it is definitely happening. I’m sorry.”

Sam swallowed thickly and nodded looking worryingly calm.

Dean sat there not knowing what to say. What could he say? His brother just found out that the thing that ruined his life, the one he worked so hard to beat is back alongside the guy who tortured him for God knows how long. How was anything Dean could say helpful in a time like this?

Sam brought his hands together and looked up at Cas as if all he’d told him was that it was going to be a little cold the next day. “Any chance you’d be able to find out their game plan?” he asked casually.

“I can try,” Cas answered.

“Okay but be careful, don’t do anything stupid.” Sam said, a hint of a smile gracing his tired face.

“Of course not,” the same ghostly smile reflecting on Cas’ face.

Cas and Dean shared a quick hug, “He’s right, be careful and if I find out you did something stupid I’ll shoot you.” Dean whispered.

Cas just smiled and disappeared.

There was brief silence that Dean broke, “So nerd, what’s the game plan?”

“We need to find out how their planning to make this work so we can stop it,” Sam said.

Dean frowned, “Well what did they do last time? We don’t even really know what ‘Boy King’ means…”

Sam sighed, “Last time the end mean was for me to take over hell until Lucifer was released and for me to be a willing vessel.”

“So what were the steps last time? Do you think they’d stay the same?”

“Last time they killed our mum, fed me demon blood and stuck me in a hunger games ghost town.” Sam said with raised eyebrows.

“So… probably not the same action plan?”

Sam’s lips turned slowly up into a small smirk, “No… probably not.”

Dean bit his lip and sucked in a quick but necessary breath. “What do you think the end goal is here? Is Lucifer still trying to wear you like a dress to the prom?”

Sam frowned, his eyebrows burrowed and his eye a mix between confusion, curiosity and a faint hint of fear, “I… I don’t know. The plan doesn’t give that result… it doesn’t make sense. If Lucifer wanted me to say yes, he could just tell Dagon to drag me down there and Lucifer could try that way or they could do a spell. Making the Boy King thing happen, that doesn’t seem to lead to being a vessel… I think… I think he might be playing with us.”

“Playing with us… how?” Dean asked.

“Lucifer… Lucifer knows me,”

“Knows you?” Dean cut in sharply.

“Dean he possessed me… we were together in the cage for… for a few years… there’s not a lot he doesn’t know about me despite me not wanting him to know.” Sam said with sad eyes and a low voice.

Dean was silenced by the truth of that; he swallowed, trying to move the conversation forward. “So why do you think he’s doing all this? Just to piss you off?”

Sam sighed and wiped a hand over his face, “Look he… he likes me… or at least as much as the devil can like someone. It is more than possible that he’s just bored and this is some sick game to him. Rile us up, annoy us, bring back stuff we don’t want all with no need for an ending, he could just be doing this for the fun of it.”

“Dude that’s messed up,”

Sam huffed a dry laugh, “You’re telling me.”

“So the devils messing with us because he’s bored… even for us this has got to be a new level of weird.” Dean said shaking his head and leaning back into his chair.

“You have to remember that the cage is… it’s a new kind of hell. Time there, it’s like it stops.” Sam said softly.

Dean didn’t dare breathe; Sam had never really gone into what it was like in the cage. He knew Cas took the crazy but Sam still remembered everything, not that he ever spoke about it, he was a silent sufferer and Dean wasn’t one to force sharing.

“A month on earth is ten years in hell… but in the cage… it’s even longer. You lose track of time and in the end, it’s all a blur of just pain and loneliness. Lucifer got bored and his playthings are now either broken or gone so he has to create his own entertainment.”

“Broken?” Dean asked his voice barely a whisper.

“I dragged down Michael, he was wearing Adam but Adam’s soul was still in heaven so he was fine-,”

“What!” Dean exclaimed.

Sam looked slightly taken aback, he rose his eyebrow in question.

Dean looked slightly abashed and paler than usual, “When I made the deal with Death to get your soul back, he said he would save you or Adam, he said I had to choose.”

To Dean’s surprise Sam snorted and rolled his eyes, “Dean, Adam wasn’t in the cage, he never was. Death just likes to mess people over, he was doing you a favour but it still came at a price.”

“I know. He made me do his job for a day to understand that what’s dead was meant to stay dead.”

“Yes, that was part of the price but so was your guilt, he wanted you to feel bad and have that stay with you forever.”

Dean’s mouth opened slightly in shock and it was if a weight he hadn’t even know was there was lifted. “But… but Michael was down there too?” he said trying to see if Sam was still in a sharing mood.

Sam nodded, “Michael was weak, he couldn’t deal with being confined into such a small space, he broke after a few centuries… when I was still trying to keep track of time. But whatever happened to Michael, well let’s just say he’s as good as dead.”

“It… it was bad in there?” Dean asked or more stated.

Sam gave a small smile to comfort Dean, “Yeah,” he said softly. “Come on,” He got up and gestured for Dean to follow, “I’ve made some new wards that we can put up around the bunker.”

Dean followed, grateful for an excuse to move, “Sure man.” He said trying to seem casual when in honesty he was freaking out. This was the most he’d found out about his brothers time in hell ever. He kicked himself mentally for not trying to find out more, for not giving a few more gentle pushes so he could’ve been there for his brother more.

There was still a lot to fix… hopefully there was still time.

 

* * *

 

After the wards were put up Sam went for a run. He had a lot of energy that he just needed to get rid of. He hoped that he’d tire himself out enough to crash and actually grab a few hours. He didn’t sleep at all last night and he had barely been sleeping the week prior. It wasn’t planned or anything, he just couldn’t sleep sometimes.

So Sam ran and ran. His feet and his heart thumping in a rhythmic pattern.

Constant and safe.

This wasn’t the time to let his fear and panic overtake him. This wasn’t a time to dwell on a future that wasn’t set in stone.

Dean and Cas were right, they would work the problem and they’d fix it. They’d work together and solve whatever mess they’d gotten themselves into... Right?

Sam’s breaths were shaky, Sam wanted to blame it on over exertion but he knew it was his thoughts that were making his body weak, making his whole self weak.

Then it hit him. That putrid smell of sulphur filling the air.

Sam snarled and pulled out a knife turning to face the demons that were stalking behind him.

“You picked a bad day to come for a fight,” Sam growled looking at them darkly.

There were three of them, and Sam was in a bad enough mood to tell himself he could take them all down without calling Dean or praying to Cas.

The demons exchanged something along the lines of smiles and knowing looks, Sam’s mood just got worse.

“Sam,” The one in the middle said with his hands in front of him like a peace offering, “We’re here to help you.”

Sam snorted, “Yeah, okay,” he said disbelieving.

“Lucifer wants to see you,” one of them said.

“Good for him. Unfortunately I’m not entirely interested in seeing him myself.” Sam said gripping tightly on the knife.

One of the demons who looked slightly more nervous than the other two spoke up, his voice a little shaky and the force intended lacking, “We have orders.”

“I’m sorry that you think I care.” Sam said sarcastically. “Now, I’m giving you a chance to leave and tell Lucifer to leave me alone before I stab you all and you don’t ever come back. The choice is yours,” Sam said tilting his head slightly, a dark glint in his eyes.

The demons shared another look and after considering it for a moment, they disappeared without another word.

Sam breathed out loud letting out the tension. He made his way back to the bunker at a steady pace. 

 

* * *

 

When Sam got back to the bunker, he walked towards Dean who was talking to Cas who had obviously returned again.

“Hey,” Dean said forcing a smile.

“A bunch of demons just stopped by, said they were ordered to take me down to Lucifer.”

“What?” Dean asked, aghast.

Sam did not seem concerned enough for what he had just given.

“When? Where? Why? How did you get out? How many were they? Why the hell didn’t you call us or pray to Cas?” Dean rambled when Sam didn’t say anything.

“Dude, chill. I was just jogging and they stopped me. There were three of them and they just said they had orders to take me to Lucifer. I said they could either run and tell Lucifer to back off or I’d kill them. They chose to run.” Sam shrugged.

“Why didn’t you pray?” Dean said glaring at his brother’s recklessness.

“I had it handled.”

“Are you okay?” Cas cut in.

“I’m fine,” Sam said reassuringly.

“You are so not leaving this bunker alone again,” Dean said raising his eyebrows.

“What?” Sam asked, his voice a mixture of confusion and anger.

“If he’s setting demons on you, then you’re not safe leaving the bunker! You’ll be protected by the wards in here but out there, they might get you!” Dean explained loudly.

“What? They take me and I become the King of Hell! Is that what you’re worried about?” Sam yelled.

“Don’t be an idiot Sam! That’s not wha-,”

“You do not get to bench me on something like this! You do not get to try to dictate my life like this! I will fix this with or without your help.” Sam cut in.

“Sam, of course we’re going to help you. We’re going to fix this together.” Dean promised calmly trying to diffuse the situation. Cas sat next to him unspeaking not dare interrupting a famous Winchester dispute.

“Are we? Dean this is Lucifer. We don’t have anything on him. We don’t know his plans, we don’t know his moves and we don’t know his goals. We have _nothing_. How are we meant to beat him? How are we meant to stop him?” Sam’s voice stopped being an angry shout and turned quickly into a quiet plead.

“We’ll work the problem Sammy,” Dean said walking up to Sam and putting his arms around him, “We’ll work the problem and fix it like we always do.”

 

* * *

 

He was a breath away from collapsing.

He wanted to scream and whine and yell at the world, tell them that it wasn’t fair, hadn’t he given them enough?

But of course, Sam Winchester didn’t.

Screaming didn’t solve problems. No noise he made would ever be heard... not really.

He could sense Deans piercing and worried eyes burning into him, his mask of calmness and rationality had gotten good, good enough to fool even Dean but that outburst was a kind of big sign that things weren’t as good as they seemed. A sign that Sam was so much more scared then he let on. But Dean didn’t know Sam as well as he used to, the big brother who thought he knew Sam inside out... well how times change.

Sam wished that it were still true; that Dean still knew him the way he used to when they were younger. How he knew what Sam was feeling before Sam did, how he taught him and helped him, how things were better, how they were the perfect team. Sam just wished they could go back to when things were easy and kind.

Sam never thought he’d had a good childhood; he was a lot more aware that John was a bad parent then Dean was. But these days,  Sam longs for his childhood, he longs for Dean telling him it’d be okay, that he’d protect them, he missed Deans proud smile every time he’d bring home an A, hell he even missed John’s anger and wrath.

He used to think John was like a huge raging fire, burning and destroying everything in its path. These days, he sees John more like a match, small, a slight twinge of pain if you touch it and easily burnt out... yeah a match, at least compared to Lucifer who was a burning building. There was no way Sam could snuff out that flame.

Sam missed times when Dean knew Sam better then Sam did. These days Sam had to keep so much from Dean to protect him. Sam knows his brother and he knows how much pain he would be in if he thoughts Sam’s problems were his fault.

Sam leant back sighing lightly and looked up at the ceiling. He turned to the left and saw his reflection in a glass cabinet. He was tired, pale, and just looked so sad. Rolling away from his pitiful reflection, he turned towards Dean who was still staring at him with worried eyes.

“I’m gonna go to my room,” Sam announced while getting up.

“Sam… we’re going to fix this,” Dean assured.

Sam smiled, his face believing and faithful enough to fool Dean that Sam thought it was true.

Truth was Sam wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

Sam didn’t know how to fix this because he didn’t know what was broken.

 

* * *

 

He lay on top of his bed wondering if he might be able to sleep tonight and stared at the ceiling examining each and every mark.

His eyes flickered and slowly drooped.

He fell into a light and fretful sleep but it was better than the long nights he’s been spending wide-awake pouring over books and ruins… or so he thought.

He walked around in his dreams; it was some sort of park, almost calming until he sensed another presence.

Lucifer.

Sam was all too familiar with what Lucifer felt like, in person, in his dreams, in his body, in his mind.

“Hello Sam,” Lucifer said calmly.

“Lucifer,” Sam growled.                

“It’s been awhile,” Lucifer said, smiling and looking around.

“Not long enough,” Sam glared.

Lucifer sighed, “It hurts me when you say things like that to me Sam.”

“Get out of my head,” Sam warned.

“Yeah, we both know that’s not happening, so let’s just make this as easy as we can; now I just want to talk.”

“How are you doing this? You’re still in the cage.”

“Yes, but even being in the cage we share a special bond, I’ve been inside you Sam.”

Sam didn’t speak.

“You have something I want Sammy,”

“I’m not saying yes,” Sam cut in quickly, a glare plastered on his face.

Lucifer smirked, “Please Sam, don’t assume I’m so predictable. No, I’m singing a new tune. I’ve decided once I’m out of the cage, which I will be and very soon, I’ll make do with other vessels. But Sam, I’ll admit I missed you, we had so many fun times together and I’d like to reunite us.”

Sam was too shocked to be scared. “You… you’re reinstating the original plan… to… to…”

“To be together Sam.” Lucifer said gently.

“You can’t be serious,” Sam said dumbfounded.

“Deadly,” Lucifer said, his eyes going dangerously dark. He took a few menacing steps towards Sam who backed up until he was pinned against a tree. “You may have gotten away,” He whispered, “But don’t forget you are still mine and you always will be.”

Sam had to bite down the flinch that threatened to appear. His breathing became more ragged and his heart was beating exceptionally fast.

“Don’t look so against the idea Sam,” Lucifer closed the space between them and placed his hand over Sam’s heart.

 _Cold_ , was all that ran through Sam’s head.

Sam swallowed thickly, “So what’s your plan? How are you going to make me the King of hell?” he asked thankful his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt.

Lucifer smiled at Sam’s reaction to him and tutted, his arm still on Sam’s chest, “Now don’t think I’m going to be spilling out all my secrets to you just yet. You’ll see, and then you shall rule Hell by my side.” He spoke slowly and low, his eyes dark and hungry; Sam’s heart was beating fast… too fast.

Lucifer paused and smiled widely, “It’ll be fun!” he said cheerily, “And hey, I’ll tell you this,” he moved close and whispered in Sam’s ear, “You’ll be the one to come to me.”

Sam shook his head, “Never.”

Lucifer tutted, “Now Sam, you know I don’t lie.”

“You won’t win.” Sam managed to stammer out. His shaking wasn’t just from fear but now an intense cold that could only come with Lucifer.

“Don’t be so sure,” Lucifer said with a small wink, “Now, have fun trying to prevent it all, but I will be seeing you very, very soon.”

And he was gone.

 

* * *

 

Sam woke up in a cold sweat and sharp intake of breath. He checked his clock, he’d only been sleeping for two hours and to be quite honest, he felt more tired than ever.

He knew he had to tell Dean and Cas about this but he really didn’t want to. He could already picture their reactions and he couldn’t be bothered to deal with them. He didn’t want to deal with their pitying eyes and worrying gazes they thought he didn’t notice.

Sam took a deep breath and left his room seeking Dean.

Dean was in the library talking to Cas.

When Sam walked in, they both looked up and Dean gave a forced smile. “Heya Sammy, how’re you doing?”

“Peachy,” Sam replied dryly. He took another breath knowing that snide remarks and bitterness wasn’t going to be helpful, “Sorry,” he said, “It’s just… something happened.”

Dean’s eyes were wide and alert; they ran over Sam’s body looking for any injuries. Cas did something similar, but as he assessed Sam, it felt more invasive, like he was looking past the skin and layers of plaid, as if he could see everything Sam tried so desperately to hide.

“I err… I fell asleep and…”

“Lucifer came to see you, didn’t he?” Cas asked.

Sam fought hard to fight the flinch that begged to surface at hearing it so plainly. “Yeah,” he breathed.

“What did he say?” asked Dean.

Cas gave Dean a sharp look at the lack of his tact but Sam as too used to Dean’s direct questions and investigations to a problem that it didn’t even bother him.

“He’s not looking for me to be his vessel surprisingly; apparently he just wants me to… to rule beside him.” Sam said awkwardly cringing internally.

“What? Why?” Dean asked bewildered.

Sam closed his eyes and breathed out, “Because I’m… in his mind I’m his.”

“What? What does that even mean? That’s ridiculous, just because you’re his vessel doesn’t mean he owns you.” Dean said angrily.

“I’m not saying that he’s right Dean,” Sam snapped, he took another breath to calm himself, “I’m saying that that’s how he’s sees it and that’s why he’s doing it.”

“Did he at all mention his plans to how he intends to achieve this?” Cas asked gently.

Sam shook his head, “He said he’d be seeing me soon though, but that doesn’t exactly give us anything to work with... But he also said… he said I’d be the one going to him.” Sam looked down in some hybrid of guilt, shame and fear.

There was an aching silence. No one knew what to say… what could you say in a situation like this? All Sam knew was that he needed out of this awkward stare off. He needed to just think and breathe alone.

“Well,” Dean swallowed nervously, “Easy fix, just don’t go running to the devil,” he said in a weak attempt at humour.

Sam nodded. “I’m just going to take a shower,” Sam said excusing himself hurriedly.

 

* * *

 

Drip, drip, drip.

The shower rained down boiling pellets of water that did nothing to warm Sam’s freezing body.

Whenever he had a dream or vision of Lucifer it would take hours, sometimes even days, to warm up again.

The devil did burn cold.

Sam knew he wouldn’t ever be out of the clear, he knew that he was a hunter and there was always going to be some big bad trying to get him and his brother… but he thought he was through with this particular monster. He thought he’d finally find some peace after Lucifer.

That’s what you get for positive thinking.

Sam wiped a hand over his face as he stood in the shower. He knew this pity would get him nowhere, yet it just kept creeping back. He couldn’t help being angry that this was happening to him _again_.

Sam shook off the thoughts, in times like these he had to prioritise. Pity parties could come later, right now, he needed to work out Lucifer’s plan and he needed to stop.

… Easier said than done.

 

* * *

 

“Sir,” Dagon spoke reverently as she kneeled.

“Dagon, you’re here… and alone,” Lucifer said raising his eyebrows, “Correct me if I’m mistaken but I do believe I ordered you to not return until you had Sam Winchester.”

“I know my lord, it’s just… he’s added extra warding… specifically towards me. I can’t get in and I wanted to inform you and ask for some guidance.”

If it was possible, Lucifer’s eyebrows were raised further, “You’re telling me that you can’t achieve the one simple task I asked of you because of a few drawings?”

“He’s smart and knows how to ward, it’s ancient magic he’s using and I can’t get close neither can any of my demons. Plus he hasn’t gone outside since he scared of some of my demons off.”

Lucifer seemed to warm at the indirect compliment to his vessel. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. I would worry if he wasn’t trying to fight back and protect himself and his primitive brother.”

“How would you like me to proceed, lord,” Dagon asked quietly with her head bowed.

Lucifer sighed, “Wait, just wait. Patience is virtue my dear.”

“Wait for what?” Dagon asked.

“For Dean to come outside, at this point he won’t let Sam leave the safety of the bunker so when he eventually leaves, take him. Don’t hurt him though… well, not too much. Once we have Dean, Sam will come running, nothing motivates his self-destructive tendencies more than his brother being threatened.”

“Yes sir,” Dagon nodded and left.

 

* * *

 

“You look deep in thought,” Cas smiled softly at Dean.

Dean jumped slightly but returned the smile, “I’m just thinking about Sam,” he said.

Cas sighed, “It is indeed a bad position Sam has been placed. I do not believe either of us could ever fathom what he is going through.”

“He talked about his time in the cage the other day…” Dean said quietly.

Cas didn’t reply but Dean could see surprise colour his face.

“He’s never talked about it… ever. The most I got was from the hallucinations he had of Lucifer. And now… the idea that Lucifer’s decided him and Sam are just going to rule Hell together… after everything he did to him.” Dean trailed off choking a bit on his words.

“Sam is a very private person and believes if he shares his experiences it will mean you will suffer to and you and I both know Sam will stop at nothing to make sure you don’t suffer.”

“I’m meant to suffer! I’m meant to share his pain! That’s what brothers do! If things were the other way round he’d say the same thing, hell he has said the same thing. He holds himself to ridiculous expectations that he never in his wildest dreams would hold other people to… and it’s breaking him.”

“Well… he’s starting to share now,” Cas offered.

Dean sighed, “I’m worried I’m going to screw this up, like everything else. I’m scared I’m going to say or do the wrong and push him away again… we just started to feel like brothers again.”

“You’re not going to, Dean. You will listen to Sam and offer comfort where you can and slowly, Sam will open up to you.”

Dean looked up with grateful eyes, “Thanks Cas,” He whispered.

“Go,” Cas directed, “Talk to him.”

With a grateful smile, Dean went to Sam.

 

* * *

 

Dean lightly knocked on Sam’s door.

Sam’s voice, soft and tired said, “Come in.”

As Dean walked in, he saw Sam at his desk still hunched over books and his laptop. Dean looked around Sam’s room… it was still so empty.

While Dean had taken the bunker as their new home, Sam never seemed to have that. His room still looked pretty much the same from when they moved in. There were a few more boards with notes on them and wards, but other than that… the same.

“What’s up?” Sam asked.

“Nothing really, I just wanted to talk to you.” Dean replied.

Sam’s face fell from a neutral and curious ponder to a worried and hesitant frown. “What about?” he asked.

Dean took a deep breath, “Look, I don’t want to force you to share stuff you don’t want to but… I just, I noticed you don’t talk about your time in hell a lot…”

Sam huffed a dry laugh, “it’s not exactly something I enjoy discussing Dean.”

“I get that, I really do… but I just feel that maybe part of the reason you never talk about it... is because you feel like you can’t.”

Sam frowned concern colouring his eyes, “Dean…”

“Look Sam I’m not trying to make you talk about stuff you don’t want to but I just want you to know if you ever need to talk about it or if it’s just getting a bit rough, I’m here, I’m always here.”

Sam looked at Dean with what could only be described as pity, “Dean… you don’t want to know, thank you... but you don’t want to know, not really.”

“Of course I don’t want to know, I’d love to live in denial and pretend that this never happened to you, that nothing ever happened to you. But the truth is it did, and you deserve to be allowed to talk about it, to have someone to help you. I want to be there for my brother,” Dean stated.

Sam nodded, “Okay,” he breathed.

Dean gave a smile and a clap on Sam’s back before he left the room.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, I was gonna do a run and grab some food, you want anything?” Sam asked walking into the kitchen where Dean and Cas were talking.

“What? No way are you leaving the bunker!” Dean exclaimed.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Dean I thought we talked about this, I’m not going to sit and mope while there are things to do.”

“Yeah, we said we weren’t gonna bench you, we said we were going to work together, but Sam don’t let this blind you, don’t start making dumb decisions. If the Devil’s after you then, you’re safer in the warded bunker. Let me go.” Dean said.

Sam opened his mouth to argue but seemed to think better of it. “Fine,” He said and handed him a small list of some food.

Dean quickly looked over the list and smirked at Sam’s food choice while Sam rolled his eyes again.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit.” Dean said.

Dean went to garage, hopped into the Impala, and drove down the road.

Suddenly, a figure appeared next to him.

Dean swerved and stepped hard on the breaks to stop hard in the middle of the empty road.

“Hi Dean,” Dagon smiled, “Thanks for making this so easy.”

And then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

“Sam you should rest,” Cas said.

“Too much to do,” Sam muttered, distracted.

“You know very well that you won’t be able to do what is needed to the best of your ability unless you rest.” Cas said.

Sam sighed and wiped a tired hand over his tired face. “Yeah… maybe you’re right,” he admitted.

“Rest for a bit, I while continue to research.”

“Thanks Cas,” Sam muttered.

He knew Cas was right. He knew he couldn’t survive without sleep, but that didn’t stopping from wishing he could. Although he hated being soulless, a type of robot without feeling or emotion, he did miss the ability to not need to sleep.

Dreams were dark and vivid. They felt real, too real. They were the reminder of Sam’s inability to ground himself, to tell the difference from his memories and reality.

He already feared what would come back to haunt him while he slept and now he had the added fear of the return of Lucifer.

Sam closed his eyes and felt sleep take over.

He returned to hell, but strangely not the cage.

He was in… in the throne room. He saw Lucifer smugly sitting in the throne with a smirk plastered on his face.

“Hi Sam,” Lucifer smiled.

“Lucifer,” Sam greeted cautiously, “What do you want?”

“Well I’ve grown bored and would like you to come down now.”

“And I would do that why?” Sam raised his eyebrows.

“Well because if you don’t I will start murdering innocent people, oh and I also have your dear old brother.”

That made Sam pause. “What?” he whispered.

“Yes, while Deano went to go grocery shopping my dear and loyal Dagon grabbed him. Now if you don’t come here in, let’s say, 24 hours, Dean will be horrifically tortured and someone will die every hour after that” Lucifer smiled cruelly. “I won’t kill Dean though, but he’s gonna wish he was dead,” he whispered.

“Don’t you dare touch him,” Sam growled.

“Well I won’t have to if you come nicely.” Lucifer said, “Come on Sam, we both know what you’d do for your brother, what you’d give up.”

Sam didn’t answer but glared.

Lucifer sighed, “Okay Sam, you’re going to wake up now and talk to your angel and argue about whether you’ll come down or not. But I know you Sam, and you know I don’t lie, I’ll be seeing you very, very soon.”

 

* * *

 

Sam bolted awake and ran to Cas, “Where’s Dean?” he yelled.

“What?” Cas asked, alarmed.

“Lucifer just told me he has him in hell,” Sam said in panic.

“I will look,” Cas said and disappeared.

Sam’s breathing was alarmingly fast and he felt faint and dizzy. He stumbled into the library when Cas reappeared suddenly.

“He is in hell… and I can’t reach him.”

Sam crumpled into the closest chair and put his face in his hands.

“What did Lucifer tell you?” Cas asked.

“He said if I don’t willingly give myself up in a day someone will be murdered every hour and Dean will be tortured.”

Cas and Sam sat in a brief silence.

“Cas, I have to give myself up.” Sam whispered, “He’s won.”

“Sam, you can’t.” Cas protested.

“I don’t have a choice! People will die if I don’t… and Dean… he can’t go through that, I won’t let him.”

“We just need to come up with another plan, to save Dean and stop Lucifer.” Cas argued.

“Cas… we both know we can’t do that in the span of 24 hours.”

“So what? You’re just going to give up!”

“No… but, but I’m not going to let Dean or anyone suffer because of me. I’m going to give myself up and then you and Dean will work out a way to stop Lucifer and get me back.”

“This is a bad idea Sam; Dean wouldn’t want you to this.”

“This isn’t just about Dean though, innocent people will die if I don’t do this!”

“What about you Sam! What’s going to happen to you? Don’t you deserve to live too?’

“He’s not going to kill me,” Sam said.

Cas shook his head, “That’s not what I’m talking about Sam. You may be alive… but will you be living?”

Sam swallowed, “It doesn’t matter… my job is to save people so that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Sam…” Cas trailed off.

“Please, Cas… I trust you, I know you’ll find a way, so let me save my brother.

Cas sighed and then gave a small nod.

“Thank you, Sam whispered.

And so they left and Sam returned to hell.

 

* * *

 

“Sam.” Dagon greeted. “Well, that took an hour longer than Lucifer expected it to.”

“Where’s Dean?” Sam asked.

Dagon snapped her fingers and Dean appeared in front of him, “There you go, unharmed and completely fine… as promised.”

“Sam! What the hell did you do?” Dean growled, as Sam ran to Dean to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

“Dean go back to the bunker with Cas,” Sam said.

“What about you?” Dean asked angrily.

“Sorry Deano, Sam’s gonna stay with us for a bit,” Dagon smiled.

“Sam…” Dean warned.

“Don’t worry about it Dean, just… just go okay, Cas will explain.”

“Yeah Dean, don’t worry. Now go run off with your lover angel.” Dagon smirked.

Cas walked towards them and with a quick glance between Sam and him, he placed his arm on Dean’s shoulder despite Dean’s angry protests.

“Keep him safe,” Sam said to Cas.

Cas nodded and then they were gone.

“Come on Sam, we have work to do,” Dagon smiled and snapped her fingers again.

 

* * *

 

“WHAT THE HELL CAS!” Dean yelled.

“Dean,” Cas said calmly.

“Don’t you _Dean_ me! My brother gave himself up for Lucifer and you did _nothing_ to stop him!”

“Dean! Calm down! Do you think I like this? You think I wanted this! Sam is as stubborn as he is smart and he knew this was the only way to make sure no one would get hurt!”

“No one would get hurt? What about him! He’s getting hurt!” Dean shouted.

“Do you think Sam cares? When is the last time Sam has taken care of himself because he believed he needed to? Because he deserved to? Everything he does, he does for others. So no, I couldn’t stop him, but I can try to help him.”

Dean’s anger slowly transformed in to fear and sadness, “What are we meant to do?”

“Sam said Lucifer said he’d torture you and kill innocent people if he didn’t give himself up. Unfortunately, he was right when he said that we couldn’t stop him in just a day, so he told me that he would give himself up and we were to find a way to stop him. It meant no one but Sam would get hurt,” Cas said.

Dean nodded, “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go stop the devil… again.”

 

* * *

 

Sam was tied against some sort of table thing. He struggled against the bonds, but they just wouldn’t loosen.

“Sam, could you stop struggling so much, you’re not getting out so you’re just hurting yourself.” Dagon said as she grounded some herbs in a bowl.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked.

“I’m preparing a spell to release Lucifer.” Dagon said simply.

Sam paled and stopped struggling for a moment, “And I’m here because…?” he said trying to hide the quiver of fear from his voice.

“Because he’s possessed you and you’re his true vessel. His grace is ingrained into your DNA; your blood will set our King free.” She said with a smile.

“You won’t win,” Sam said.

She finally turned to face and Sam and she smiled gently, “Haven’t we already? We have you, your brother and his angel are useless against us and Lucifer is finally returning.”

She turned back to the spell and after a minute, she walked over to Sam a sharp and ritual looking knife in her hand. “Sorry Sam, this is gonna hurt a bit.” She apologised.

She brought the knife to Sam’s arm and cut fairly deeply, Sam barely winced. Dagon caught the dripping blood in a bowl and walked back to her table.

 Sam looked at his surroundings, trying to find something to help him or… or anything really, Sam wasn’t too fussed at this point. As Sam looked around, he noticed Lucifer’s old vessel, Nick. He looked empty like there was nothing inside.

Not a good sign.

Over by the altar, Dagon began to chant some Enochian, which Sam automatically translated in his head, _through earth, blood and sacrifice we free you lord. Your reign is now and your freedom is here. Come mighty Lucifer, the fallen. Come mighty Lucifer, the powerful. Come mighty Lucifer, the King._

With a small explosion and a lot of smoke, Lucifer materialised in front of them.

Lucifer, in his true form, was beautiful, cold and so enchanting. Sam hated the way he couldn’t look away and how it felt so familiar and comforting to be near him, but also so completely terrifying.

Lucifer went into Nick and then opened his eyes with a bright smile planted on his face.

“Well done Dagon,” he said softly.

Dagon beamed at the praise.

Lucifer turned and then walked over to where Sam was tied up. “Sam,” he smiled softly.

Sam’s struggles became frantic against the bonds with a desperate need to escape.

“I’m sorry for this treatment, correct me if I’m wrong but I have a feeling you would have been less then agreeable to this ritual.”

“I swear, I will put you back in that cage if it kills me,” Sam said through gritted teeth.

Lucifer sighed and raised his hand towards Sam, Sam tried to lean as far away from Lucifer as he could while tied up but Lucifer placed his cold hand over Sam’s face and smiled at him.

“You’re tired,” he said tilting his head slightly.

Sam tried to suppress his flinch but he could tell Lucifer saw it.

He sighed, “Sam please, I’m not here to hurt you, quite the opposite really… I want to help you.”

“You’re idea of hurt and help are a lot different to mine,” Sam glared but began to feel drowsy. He wanted to roll away from Lucifer’s violating hand, and get rid of the heavy groggy feeling.

Lucifer smiled sadly, “Soon Sam, you’ll understand, soon.”

“I doubt it,” Sam spat trying to hide his fatigue.

Lucifer sighed and moved his hand to stroke Sam’s hair and face fondly, “Let me help you,” he whispered.

Sam just shook his head not trusting himself to speak.

“Don’t worry, you’ll trust me soon enough. For now… sleep tight.”

And it all went dark.

 

* * *

 

“Dean, is this really the best idea?” Cas frowned.

“It’s our only idea which makes it the best by default,” Dean said setting up a summoning spell.

“This is Crowley we’re talking about; he does what helps him and nothing more. Can we really trust him?”

“I ain’t talking about trust; I’m talking about _making_ him help us.”

“Dean, we have to be careful. Don’t go do something rash, Sam’s counting on us,” Cas said quietly.

Dean closed his eyes for a pained moment, “I know Cas, that’s why I need to do this.”

Cas softened and nodded lightly, “Okay,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

Sam woke up to dimly lit room and a big comfortable bed. It was probably the best sleep he’d had in months. No dreams, no visions. He woke up with slow bleary eyes. As the room came into focus, he saw Lucifer sitting in the corner watching Sam.

Sam scrambled to his feet in a hurry nearly tripping over the many layers in the bed. He stood bracing, preparing fight.

Lucifer just sighed, “I’m not here to hurt you Sam.”

“Bull,” Sam replied.

Lucifer smiled a little at that, “I missed that snark… most people wouldn’t dare stand up to me, you know, the whole devil thing and all. But, I swear I’m not going to hurt you, when have I ever lied to you?”

“Why am I here?” Sam asked.

Lucifer shrugged, “Because I wanted you to be,” he said simply.

“What, that’s it? You say _jump_ and I ask how high?” Sam said angrily.

Lucifer’s eyes were filled with a dangerous glint, one that made Sam step back. “Watch your tone,” he said quietly.

“Or what?” Sam whispered, “You’ll kill me? You’ll torture me? You’ll make me suffer beyond belief? Because guess what, you’ve already done that, so give it your best shot.”

Lucifer closed his eyes and took a calming breath despite not needing it, “Sam, you’re not here to suffer or hurt, you’re here to rule by my side, like the original plan states.”

“And how are you going to make me rule? You think that’s going to be something I just accept?”

Lucifer smiled at that, “You have always been remarkably stubborn,” he admitted.

“So what’s your plan?” Sam said, trying hard to keep the quiver of fear from his voice.

“Well, right now it’s for you to go back to sleep.”

“What?” Sam asked, confused.

“Sam, you are terrible at taking care of yourself, it’s been months since you got a decent night sleep, you barely eat and you seem to only be able to survive on coffee and stupidity. One would argue that these aren’t healthy habits.”  Lucifer said standing up.

“Since when did you care?” Sam snarled.

Lucifer rolled his eyes, “I’ve always cared.” And then Sam was in the bed again and Lucifer was standing over him. “Now get some rest, we have lots of work to do when you wake up.”

 

* * *

 

“Morning Sam,” Lucifer said as Sam woke up.

Sam’s eyes went directly to the door on the other side of what seemed to be his room and immediately started to scout out ways he could escape or at least put up a fight that wasn’t completely to his enemy’s advantage.

“Come on Sam, we both know you’re not going to escape or win a fight with me right now,” Lucifer said with a hint of a smile on his pale face.

As Sam looked around, he begrudgingly admitted defeat and slouched back in the bed with a glare plastered on his face.

“How are you feeling?” Lucifer asked.

“Peachy,” Sam replied sarcastically.

“I’d offer food but I know you’d just refuse,” Lucifer said.

“Wow, you’re psychic.”

“No… I just know you.”

Sam swallowed nervously.

“There’s a change of clothes in the bathroom, come meet me when you’ve showered and changed,” Lucifer said, or ordered, and then he left the room.

As Sam sat alone in the room, he sighed and swung his long legs out of the bed. He debated just trying to make a run for it but he knew he’d never make it. He went over to the door and tested it and it was surprisingly unlocked. Sam peaked outside and saw a long hallway with some demon guards scattered throughout it.

Sam closed the door and leant his head against the wall in a pained silence. He knew he had to play this smart, but then there was smart and then there was doing everything Lucifer ordered him too.

Eventually the want for a shower won over any ideas of futile rebellion, he had no idea how long he’d been asleep for and he felt grotty. After a quick, hot shower, Sam got out and looked at the clothes Lucifer had laid out. He rolled his eyes at the complete tuxedo and just chucked on the trousers and shirt leaving the blazer and tie.

Sam walked out and a demon silently gesture for him to follow. Sam sighed and followed the demon to some room where Lucifer was patiently waiting.

As Sam walked in Lucifer quickly ran his eyes over him and raised his eyebrows. “Not a fan of my clothes?” he asked with a smile.

“Not really my colour,” Sam said back, rolling his eyes and hating how natural it felt to be with Lucifer despite everything he had done to him.

“Before we begin, I wanted to talk to you,” Lucifer said changing the subject.

Sam didn’t reply but raised his eyebrows waiting for him to continue.

“I feel we have some past that we need to discuss and move on from,” Lucifer paused but Sam still didn’t reply, “I wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened in the cage.”

Sam felt a spark of surprise but it was drowned out by the sudden rage he felt, “What… that’s it? You say sorry and now I’m meant to move on as if you didn’t destroy my soul? You think that that pathetic apology makes a difference?” he said angrily.

Lucifer shrugged nonchalantly like Sam’s outburst was expected, “In my defence for you it may have been many lifetimes but for me it was a blink of an eye, I was eventually going to stop torturing you, but I was rather upset, I mean you had betrayed me.”

“Betrayed you?” Sam said astounded.

“I mean you did drag me and my brother into the cage when your true purpose was to serve me and all,” Lucifer said shrugging again.

“My true purpose? I owed you nothing,” Sam, said lowly, through gritted teeth, “If my true purpose has anything to do with you, then it can go screw itself.”

“Always so dramatic Sammy, don’t forget, that you’re mine, you were designed especially for me and me alone. Now I’m trying to be nice and apologise, take it or leave it.”

“This changes nothing,” Sam growled.

Lucifer laughed softly, “I didn’t expect it. Now, we have work to do, let’s make you a King.”

 

* * *

 

“Well, squirrel, feathers… nice to see you. Where’s the moose?” Crowley said his voice bemused and not at all surprised by the summoning.

“You know exactly where he is,” Dean growled.

“Ahh yes, I did hear he was spending some quality time with the devil. Tell me Dean, how does it feel to have your brother choose Satan over you? I know it hurt before with Ruby, is this worse?”

Cas put a gentle but restraining hand on Dean’s shoulder to stop him from attacking Crowley.

“We want a way into hell,” Cas said.

Crowley laughed, “Sorry boys, I’m not any help there.”

“You make it sound like you have a choice,” Dean snarled pulling out a knife.

Crowley rolled his eyes, “Look, even if I wanted to help you I couldn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked frowning.

Crowley sighed, “Lucifer’s taken over hell, I’ve been cut off, and even if I could get in it wouldn’t be safe, I would have a small army of demons attacking me,” Crowley smirked at Dean, “Anything to keep Lucifer’s precious pet safe.”

Dean went to punch or stab Crowley, probably both but Cas stopped him and whispered something in his ear which seemed to, if not calm him, stop him from wanting to murder the former king of hell.

“Is there any way you can reach hell?” Cas asked calmly.

“Possibly, but it would be incredibly difficult as well as incredibly stupid since I would be killed as soon as I entered.”

“Does it look like I care? I swear… I will get my brother back.” Dean said his eyes steel and voice cold.

“Hmm… I’m sorry boys but you’re going to have to work on your negotiating skills. Moose will become the king of hell whether you like it or not and there’s nothing you can do even if you had a way to hell.”

“You can’t like this, Lucifer taking over, you being kicked out, don’t you want revenge?” Cas queried.

“Of course I want bloody revenge, but I want to live a little bit more so I think I’ll leave this fight to the big boys.”

“Crowley,” Dean said lowly.

Crowley raised his eyebrows waiting for Dean to continue.

Dean closed his eyes, “Please help us.”

Crowley smiled widely, “A Winchester begging, my oh my, this indeed is quite a moment.” He paused for a moment, “Well since deals are my forte, let’s see if we can work one out.”

 

* * *

 

Sam was directed into a room by a random demon and roughly shoved in. He rolled his eyes and looked around. It was a pretty basic room, a few chairs and tables he walked over to inspect it and try to dull his boredom.

As he inspected the fine thread, the door widely swung open and three demons came barging in. They didn’t order him around or direct him to somewhere else but instead all three went to attack him at the same time.

Sam had been expecting this for some time, although he was apparently Lucifer’s favourite new plaything, he really couldn’t see all the demons he’d sent back to hell or killed or hunted to forgive him and start worshipping like the King Lucifer weirdly thought he was meant to be.

Sam quickly rolled to the left and dodged the first knife that came wildly swinging. He kicked one of the demons legs out so they fell to the floor and snatched their knife in the moment of their confusion.

Now that he had a weapon, he felt a little more comfortable and could divert his attention to all three of them snarling faces and all.

He dodged another swing of a knife and deflected a hit with his arm. An arm came from nowhere and hit him in the face making him stumble back a few steps and have to refocus. He quickly swung at a demon but they quickly dodged.

The demon that Sam had disarmed leapt forward and jumped on Sam making him fall on to the ground with the demon still on top of him. Sam raised the knife trying quickly to stab him but the demon grabbed the hilt of the knife and pushed away. Sam used a quick thrust of power and dug the knife deep into the demons chest. He pushed the demon off him and looked at the two demons left.

Fuelled with anger, anger at being taken hostage by the devil, being taken away from his brother and then being attacked by demons, Sam went in swing.

He moved quickly and swiftly avoiding their counter attacks and moving around their defence.

Sam managed to stab another demon while they were turning in the back and as he faced the last one, he could’ve sworn he saw a flicker of fear appear on the vessels face. Sam went in quickly and after ducking to dodge the demons attempt at stabbing him, he quickly burrowed the knife deep into the demons head.

Sam dropped the bloody knife and looked at the chaos and blood that surrounded him. Out of breath and the adrenaline slowly fading, he looked down at his bright red hands covered in blood.

He may have killed the demons, but Sam was more than aware that the vessels were innocent and now dead because of him.

From behind him, he heard slow clapping and he quickly turned around almost expecting another fight.

Instead, he saw Lucifer, smirking and clapping while he looked Sam up and down and then the scene that surrounded him.

“Well… admittedly not what I was going for, but entertaining none the less,” he said with a genuine smile.

“What?” Sam asked confused ignoring the flutter of fear that made his heart beat a little faster.

“Well I wanted you to use your powers.”

Sam felt his stomach plummet, “My what?” he whispered.

“Your powers, Sam,” Lucifer repeated.

Sam swallowed, “But I’m clean, I have touched a drop of demon blood since I jumped into the cage,” he paused, “…unless you… you,”

Lucifer rolled his eyes, “No, I didn’t force feed you demon blood.”

“Then how would I use my powers?”

“Sam, the blood was more of a placebo. Azazel fed you and the other chosen children to ensure they would develop, but you always had the power and the demon blood doesn’t really do anything.”

“That’s bull, I’ve never been able to use my powers without the blood,” Sam protested.

“Hence why I’m here,” Lucifer smiled, “To teach you.”

“I can’t use the powers they’re gone, and even if I could, I would never use them for you,” Sam glared.

“Look Sam, I want us to get along, we’re going to have quite an extensive future together, but I find rather adorable that you’re still under the impression you have a choice with these sort of things.”

“I thought you were all about consent,” Sam glowered.

Lucifer chuckled, “Come on,” he directed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sam said stubbornly, folding his arms defiantly.

“Ok,” Lucifer said.

Without a sound or a snap or anything, Sam found himself next to Lucifer in yet another room.

Sam glared over at Lucifer as he continued to smile as if this was the most fun he’d had in a while.

Sam looked away from Lucifer to scope out the room. He saw some sort of cubicle with glass at the front. He couldn’t see what was in it and without meaning to; he looked over at Lucifer for confirmation to go over.

Lucifer gave a small nod and Sam felt his stomach twist up, old habits die-hard.

Sam walked over to the glass and looked in to see a group of people each with guns to their heads. He made some sort of strangled gasp sound and took a step back.

Sam was frozen in place not knowing what to do.

Lucifer snuck next to him, wrapped an arm around his waist, and nodded to the girl closest to Sam. “Meet Olivia, currently being possessed by a demon. She has control over everything except for movement of course. If you don’t exorcise the demon, with your powers she will shoot herself and we will move on to the next victim until you can do it successfully. Also, don’t bother trying to use the spoken exorcism the glass is sound proof.”

“Lucifer… please,” Sam said his voice low, “I don’t know how to, just let them go,” he begged.

“I told you Sam, this isn’t something you have a choice about.”

“I don’t know how.”

Lucifer sighed and made a little gesture to the closest victim.

There was no sickening bang; Lucifer wasn’t lying about the glass being sound proof, but the girl… Olivia, just feel to the floor like a puppet who had its wires cut.

“NO!” Sam yelled.

“Exorcise them,” Lucifer ordered gesturing to the next victim, a young man who had uncontrollable tears pouring down his face.

“Lucifer,” Sam pleaded feeling the first true feeling of terror since he’d come down here. He didn’t know how to fight this, but he couldn’t just give in and use his powers, not that he knew how, he couldn’t just become everything he tried so hard to avoid. He couldn’t be the monster Dean had thought he was, the monster his father had died believing he was.

“You can stop this Sam, you can save them. This is up to you.

Sam swallowed and redirected his attention to the next victim. _I’m sorry Dean_ he thought before raising his arm and trying for the first time in years to reach his powers.

He felt inside the body for the two souls, one a normal human soul and the other a twisted black sludge, immediately as he tried to grip it he knew he was too weak. He tried to overpower it but suddenly the human soul was gone. Sam had taken too long, and now he was dead.

“Next,” Lucifer ordered.

Sam took a shaky breath and raised his hand again. He felt the demons essence; the slimy darkness that contaminated the purity of its human host, Sam grabbed it and felt the pull. He directed all his energy into trying to get it out of this human but again, he was too late.

Sam felt out of breath, his head was fuzzy and hurting, he also realised he started bleeding from his nose.

“Another one,” Lucifer whispered gently. 

Sam looked at the woman standing in front of him and then reached inside with his mind. He grasped the demon straight away and directed every ounce of energy, every thought and every breath into taking it out. He felt it cling to the humans soul but Sam was stronger this time and he brought it out of the body. The woman collapsed to the ground and Sam used the last of his dwindling energy to kill the demon.

Once the demon was dead, Sam began fall to the ground but was caught by Lucifer. Not having enough energy to move or speak, Lucifer laid his head on his lap whispering _well done_ into his ear. Sam looked up and saw the woman he’d saved shrieking wildly as two other demons roughly handled her.

He felt Lucifer move his arm and suddenly the woman struggled no more.

Dead.

Sam felt a quick surge of energy and thrashed against Lucifer’s grip. Lucifer tightened his hold on Sam to stop him from moving away.

“You said… you said I could save them,” Sam gasped.

“Shh…” Lucifer said stroking Sam’s hair ignoring his desperate struggles.

Sam’s mind was full of a darkness he couldn’t ignore and it soon it was all he could see and feel until he felt unconsciousness take over him.

 

* * *

 

A week later, Sam had still not spoken a word.

“You’re upset,” Lucifer said looking at Sam.

Sam looked up at him with a darkness in his eyes and a deep anger radiating off him.

Lucifer sighed, “Is this because of that girl I killed?”

Sam swallowed thickly and closed his eyes trying to block out the constant replay of her death, “You said I could save her.”

“And you did, you saved her from possession.”

Sam snapped.

He stood up and in a blink of an eye; he had Lucifer shoved up against a wall with his elbow pushing on Lucifer’s neck.

“You killed her,” he growled.

Lucifer’s eyes mirrored Sam’s darkness. In an instant, they had swapped positions and Sam was against the wall and struggling against Lucifer.

“You’re exceptionally strong Sam, but no way can you win against me right now.” Lucifer whispered.

“You spew all this crap about wanting to be friends, wanting to trust each other and then you murder innocent people.”

“First of all, I have never lied to you, just because you interpret things I say wrong doesn’t mean I lied. And also, I may have killed that girl, but no, she wasn’t that innocent.”

Sam went to protest, “That doesn’t make it oka-“

Lucifer took his voice away halfway through his sentence causing him to struggle more in annoyance, “No, listen to me. You and I can achieve great things, the world can and will be ours, but you need to accept some things. First, you’re stuck here, so get used to it. Second, your powers are amazing and you can do amazing things with them. I’m not just talking about exorcising or killing demons, but so much more. You are one of the most powerful beings in this pitiful universe. So accept it, accept that you’re here, accept that you were designed to rule, accept that your powers are here to stay and accept that you are and always will be mine,” Lucifer ended with whispering into his ear.

Sam felt the familiar cold Lucifer came with and shivered uncontrollably.

Lucifer took a moment and moved his hand to touch Sam’s face possessively; he smiled at him and then left without another word.

 

* * *

 

“Crowley still has nothing,” Dean said his voice tired and angry.

“It’s only been a week,” Cas said trying to comfort him.

“Yeah a week, that’s over 2 years in hell. Sam’s been alone with the psycho devil for over two years and we have made no progress on saving him.”

“Have faith, Sam is strong and he will survive this.”

Dean closed his eyes and leant hi head against the wall, “He didn’t deserve this Cas,” he whispered.

“I know,” Cas whispered back.

They sat in silence, Cas not knowing what to say to comfort Dean and Dean not knowing what to say to fix it all.

It was the overwhelming silence and the pause in the movement and planning that broke Dean. He buried his head in his knees and felt himself feel everything he tried so hard to push out the way.

Cas’ arm moved gently around his shoulders and he just held him.

The silence felt a little less empty.

 

* * *

 

Hope.

That’s all he had and it was fading fast.

The voice of the devil was loud.

Sam wanted to hold on to the belief that Dean and Cas would be able to save him, he wanted to hope for the best… but when all you have to lose is hope, it’s easy to forget what you’re fighting for.

It was getting harder and harder each day to fight it, to fight Lucifer.

Sam had been in Hell for three years and had mastered his powers a while ago. At first, he collapsed after using such intense amounts of energy but now, he could kill large groups of demons without even feeling any of the side effects. Plus, he’d also mastered a bunch of powers he didn’t even know he had.

Lucifer was beyond happy with his progress, which mostly just made Sam more annoyed.

The kind smiles, the nods of encouragement and the beams of pride every time Sam successfully did something he was forced to, it made everything so much worse.

Sam thought he’d finally stopped being under Lucifer’s control, finally was able to belong to himself. But every time Lucifer ordered him around or instructed him, Sam felt his defiance die down a little more.

Sam sat in his room reading a book, curled up in an armchair. The familiarity of it, the comfort, made him sick, but not as much as before.

There was a quick tap on the door before Lucifer let himself in.

Sam rolled his eyes and bit back his snarky remark.

“Sam,” Lucifer greeted.

“I thought we were done with training for the day,” Sam said coolly still looking down at his book.

“We have, I wanted to talk.”

Sam didn’t reply.

“Look at me Sam,” Lucifer instructed.

Sam looked up immediately without a second thought and then immediately gritted his teeth in annoyance of his obedience. 

Lucifer sighed, “Why are you still fighting this?” he asked.

Sam raised his eyebrows but again didn’t answer.

“Seriously, wouldn’t it just be easier?”

“Just because it’s easier doesn’t mean that it’s right.” Sam said quietly.

 Lucifer huffed a breath, “You’re still going down that road? You still think you can beat this?”

“I have to think that,” Sam said quietly.

“But why?” Lucifer asked.

“Because otherwise I'm going to give up. Because otherwise you win. Because otherwise everything I’ve worked for, every fight, every battle, every scar… it would be for nothing.”

“I want you to be at peace Sam; I want you to be happy and safe. But everything you put yourself through, it's not helping you.”

“Since when does it matter? I'm meant to help others, to save others, I can’t go around being selfish and turning into a monster, that’s just not who I am.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes, “It’s not selfish to want to be happy.”

Sam ignored that, “Lucifer, you broke me a long time ago, what can you possibly get from this?”

“A kingdom needs a ruler and despite it being broken, I missed my favourite toy.”

 

* * *

 

“Alright boys,” Crowley appeared suddenly in front of Cas and Dean, “I have found a way.”

“What!” Dean exclaimed.

“I’ve got a way for you to contact Sam and only Sam so you can tell him where you’ll be and when, and then you pop in and grab him and come back topside.” Crowley said with a smug smile obviously impressed with himself.

“That’s awfully convenient,” Cas said sceptically, “What’s the catch?”

“Oh… nothing really, I just need a simple guarantee that the Winchester boys will never hunt or try to kill me plus an angel knife.”

“Deal,” Dean said without hesitation.

 “Dean,” Cas said lowly.

“What? It’s not that much, not for Sam.”

Cas sighed and nodded in agreement.

“So what do we need to do?”

 

* * *

 

Sam woke to a hell he had only seen through the eyes of others. A hell that he was destined to lead and a hell that he was mean to help build. It was a place designed for his comfort; for his safety and that thrived on his power… the thought made him sick to his stomach.

When Sam woke up this time, he didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t bolt up and run for the door or try to start a fight. When he awoke, he felt himself give up just a little bit more.

The temptation was so strong and he felt something he hadn’t felt in years when he let himself go here, peace.

Dean had given up on him once before, Dean had accepted that this was who Sam was, so why couldn’t he?

He was so tired; too tired to fight this. He wasn’t even sure it was something he wanted to fight.

As Sam sat thinking about the mess he’d gotten himself in, he sensed a familiar but new energy.

He looked up and saw a ghostly apparition of Dean standing three feet in front of him.

“Sammy!” Dean’s voice cried in joy.

“Dean?” Sam asked low and confused.

“Sammy, I don’t have much time, in a few hours, Crowley, Cas and me, we’ll be down in hell to take you back, we’re going to be in the throne room so be there alone. We’ll be leaving in a minute but that’s going to be a few hours for you. I’ll see you soon Sammy.”

And then he disappeared.

Sam stood taking shaky breaths. Sam has been in hell for close to ten years and he hadn’t heard his brother’s voice in all that time. It was nice to see him but somehow not as comforting as he thought it would be, somehow he just felt emptier.

Sam thought about his options, it would be pretty easy to be in the throne room alone in a few hours and Sam could just escape.

As Sam thought about he realised… he didn’t want to escape. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be here, but he didn’t just want to leave.

Sam closed his eyes and knew what he was going to do, whether it was the right choice or the best one didn’t matter, all he knew was what he had chosen.

 

* * *

 

“Lucifer,” Sam said quietly as he walked into one of the more meeting style rooms.

Lucifer was sitting at the head of the long table talking to some demons.

“Sam,” Lucifer said with a smile, “What can I do for you?” he asked pleasantly.

Sam gave a quick glance at the demons, “I need to talk to you.”

Lucifer caught onto the seriousness of his tone immediately and dismissed the demons he was talking to so it was just him and Sam alone in the room.

“What’s wrong?” Lucifer asked concerning filling his voice.

“Dean just sent me a message, he, Cas and Crowley are coming down to rescue me in a few hours, in the throne room.”

Lucifer’s eyebrows shot up, “You… you’re telling me this? You understand that I’m going to want to stop this?”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Obviously,”

“So… So you want to stop this as well?”

“I don’t want them to be hurt, but I don’t plan on leaving with them.”

“You want to stay?” Lucifer asked.

“Don’t bother twisting this into something it’s not.  If they had come without me telling you, you would find out and then I wouldn’t be in control of this situation. So I’ll tell them to stay away, and you promise that you or your demons won’t hurt them.” Sam said with an almost bored tone.

Lucifer smirked widely, “Of course, I suppose we should get ready to greet our guests then?”

Sam nodded and led the way out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Dean was full of nervous energy as they performed the ritual. It had been almost a month since he’d seen his brother and much longer for Sam.

The ritual didn’t take long to do, with the blood of an angel and the former king of hell; it was pretty easy to create a doorway into hell.

They appeared in the throne room and Dean eagerly looked around to find Sam.

He did find Sam, just not how he wanted to.

There were two thrones instead of one now and Sam and Lucifer both sat in one. While Lucifer looked ecstatic, happy beyond belief, Sam looked almost bored.

Dean did a quick scan, Sam looked fine… better then fine actually. Sam looked healthier then he had in a while. He’d obviously been sleeping and it looked like he’d actually been eating.

Dean would’ve been relieved if he wasn’t so damn confused.

Lucifer clapped his hands together with a grin on his face and leaned forwards in his obnoxious throne, “Hello boys, lovely to see you, though I must asked where your invitation is?”

“Sam…” Dean said not even knowing where he planned to go with it.

“You found out we were coming?” Cas asked Lucifer tilting his head slightly.

“Of course, you’re in my domain now boys, nothing gets past me,” he smirked.

Sam rolled his eyes and finally directed his calm and cool face towards Dean, Cas and Crowley who was cowering behind them, “I told him,” he stated.

Dean started to splutter out questions, insults and whatever came to his head while Cas just stared at Sam looking at him with a small and confused frown.

Lucifer and Sam shared a quick look and Dean hated that Sam knew what it meant, that Sam was close enough with the guy who had tortured him for centuries and could sit next to him with so much ease.

“You should leave, and you should stop trying to rescue me. I’m here for good and you need to accept that and move on.” Sam said with barely any emotion still leaning back in his throne with a foot up as if this was a casual and normal position he was in.

“You think we’re going to stop without fighting?” Dean growled.

Sam smiled slightly, “No, not really. I’m just advising that that’s probably the smartest decision you can make right now.”

“You have your powers back, don’t you?” Cas asked.

“What? You’re high on demon blood again! Seriously Sam? I can’t believe you.” Dean yelled.

Sam demonstrated the most emotion he’d shown this entire discussion. A warped snarl appeared on his face, so not Sam-like, and he straightened his back and leaned forward slightly as if he was debating attacking them.

Lucifer placed a hand on Sam’s arm and the worst part was… it seemed to calm Sam down. Sam leant back and placed on that calm and collected mask again but this time it was crinkled with anger.

“Sam hasn’t touched a drop of blood since before the cage. His powers are completely natural and the only reason he didn’t ever use them again was because you forced him to believe they were so evil that he pushed them so deep down that he could never purposely access them.” Lucifer said his grin dropping and a cold glint and dangerous sneer replacing it.

Without a thought, Dean took a small step back.

“I think it’s time you boys go,” Lucifer said coolly.

“Not without Sam!” Dean argued.

“Sorry boys, you’re too late.” Lucifer said and snapped his fingers and they were gone. He turned to Sam looking at him sympathetically, “Are you okay?” he asked.

Sam nodded, “I’m fine.”

Both Lucifer and Sam knew he was lying.

“Go get some rest, it’s been a long day,” Lucifer suggested soothingly.

Sam nodded and got up and absentmindedly wandered back to his room.

* * *

 

After they reappeared in the bunker, Crowley disappeared without another word.

Dean turned to Cas, “What the hell was that? He was just sitting there! He let the freak touch him! He did nothing! And he was the one who told Lucifer? We were meant to rescue him!” Dean yelled and ranted.

Cas frowned, “Something was wrong…”

“You don’t say? He just sat there and let Lucifer rule over him!”

“No… I mean he was holding back. He isn’t completely gone… he’s still there somewhere. He can still be saved.”

Dean huffed a dry and cynical laugh, “You heard him, he doesn’t want to be saved.”

Cas raised his eyebrows, “What so that’s it? Sam says no and you just accept it?”

“What am I meant to do? He’s not in a cooperative mood and now we have no way to get back into hell, there’s no way Crowley’s going to help again.”

“There are other ways to save Sam then just going to hell.” Cas said.

Dean frowned, “What do you mean?”

“What if we brought Lucifer up here?”

“Even if that was possible, what would we do then? Angel blades don’t do anything on him.”

“Just trust me Dean,” Cas said confidently.

Dean gave a small smile, “I always do.”

 

* * *

 

Sam sat alone in his room trying to ignore the loud thoughts that rushed around his head and instead tried to focus on his fast breathing.

In and out. _What have I done?_ In and out.

In and out. _Am I really siding with Lucifer?_ In and out.

In and out. _What have I become?_ In and out.

Sam buried his face into his hands.

He wanted to tell himself that this was all to protect Dean, that he was staying here so he could save people… but deep down, he knew the only reason he stayed was because he wanted to.

Lucifer had been right… he was always right.

 

* * *

 

“He’s coming along very nicely,” Dagon said smiling.

Lucifer smiled, “He’s becoming to finally accept this is who he is meant to be.”

“He’s a born leader, it’s easy to tell.” Dagon hesitated, “it’s just…”

“Yes?” Lucifer asked raising his eyebrows.

“He still avoids all demons.”

Lucifer sighed, “He still doubts his position… he still doubts himself.”

“What can we do to change that?” Dagon asked.

“This is a waiting game dear Dagon. Sam is an extremely stubborn being and the only thing that will beat him is time. Soon he will be more comfortable in his role and the problem will be no more.”

Dagon smiled, “You like that he still fights, that he argues and confronts you?”

“It is… refreshing. I enjoy that we can discuss things as equals whether he realises it or not.”

“Have you told him about the bond?” Dagon asked.

Lucifer’s smile faltered slightly, “No, but it won’t be too long until he works it out himself. He’s quite perceptive.”

“Sir, I don’t mean to step over any lines but… I just… I worry what Sam’s latest encounter with his brother has done, how it’s affected the plan.”

“Sam needs time to process and work out where he lies in all of this by himself. I don’t believe this will affect anything, dare I say it has actually benefited us.”

Dagon smiled and nodded, “of course.”

“Now go, make sure they can’t get back into hell, I don’t want any compromises to Sam’s progress.”

“Yes my lord,” Dagon said and disappeared at the dismissal.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure this will work?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded, “This magic will bring Dagon to us and we have the colt to threaten her with. Then when she brings Lucifer here, we will be ready to attack him.”

Dean frowned, “Are you sure the knife will hurt him? I mean he’s an Archangel.”

“I’m positive.”

“Okay, then. Let’s get this started.”

The ritual was more complex than the one they used to go to hell. Dean paced nervously as Cas set everything up.

Lost in his in thoughts, Dean was pulled out by Cas who spoke, “Dean, it’s ready.”

Dean swallowed and nodded nervously. He set himself by the devils trap they had set up with the colt loaded with bullets Sam had made before he… before he’d left.

Cas spoke the final incarnation and through some sort of powder in with the rest ingredients. There was a large bang and a poof of smoke.

And then there was silence.

Dean and Cas looked at each other, both looking a little lost.

Suddenly Dagon appeared in front of them looking pissed off.

“You dare summon me,” she snarled.

“Yeah,” Dean said, “And now you’re going to help us.”

“And why would I do that?” she asked.

“Because,” Dean said and loaded the gun, “If you don’t I’m going to blow your brains out and trust me when I say this will stick.”

Dagon looked at the gun and then down to the devils trap she was standing in.

“And what exactly do you want me to do?” she asked folding her arms over her chest.

“Summon Lucifer,” Cas said.

Dagon laughed, “You would dare summon him here? He would destroy you.”

“Summon him,” Dean demanded.

Dagon smirked at him and raised her arms in a sign of surrender, “You know what, why not. I’ll summon Lucifer, but trust me when I say you’ll regret it.”

“Just do it,” Dean said with the gun still pointed at Dagon’s head.

Dagon laughed again, “Oh this is going to be fun.”

 

* * *

 

Lucifer was casually reading a book while Sam floated a pencil around the room as he sat on a small armchair with his legs over the armrests.

Lucifer glanced up at the distracted Sam and smiled a little to himself before returning to his book.

Suddenly the room was filled with energy. Sam and Lucifer both looked up and made eye contact and suddenly Lucifer was gone.

Sam immediately jumped up and dropped the pencil.

He took a deep breath and put his hands out in front of him to feel the energy around him like Lucifer had taught him.

The energy felt like Dagon’s, Sam frowned, why would she summon Lucifer? If she had just asked him to come he would’ve.

Then it hit him, a second energy… energy from the bunker. The bunker was an extremely powerful building, warded and full of magic and that kind of magic leaves a trace, a certain taste in the air.

There was a nervous tap at the door.

“Come in,” Sam said still distracted.

“Sir,” a demon said nervously, “There’s been some sort of magic entering hell and Lucifer asked to keep him updated on it but we can’t find him.”

“My brother’s taken him. He’s used Dagon to summon him.”

“What… what should we do?” the demon asked.

“Set up a teleportation spell so I can go to the bunker. This is either a way to get me back or they have something that can actually hurt Lucifer, either way I need to be there.”

“Yes sir,” the demon nodded and rushed to follow the orders.

Sam felt an odd sort of calm wash over him. He felt no panic or fear but instead a low and deep determination and knowledge that his brother wouldn’t win.

 

* * *

 

When Sam arrived, Dagon stood in a devils trap unable to move and Lucifer stood by Dean with a knife to his neck.

“Sammy, I’m glad you came. You’re brother’s kind of annoying you know?” Lucifer said smiling without a care.

“Shut up,” Dean growled pressing the knife closer in his neck.

“Seriously Deano? An angel blade? Hello, Archangel! You know they can’t actually hurt me,” Lucifer said.

“This isn’t just an angel blade, it’s had some… modifications,” Cas said.

Dean pushed hard enough so a bead of blood formed and Sam moved his hand to his own throat a shocked expression colouring his face. Lucifer raised his eyebrows at the weapon, “Impressive, boy,” he complimented.

“Let him go Dean,” Sam said softly.

“Sammy! I’m doing this for you! I get this freak has you under some mind control mojo, but I swear we’ll break it,” Dean said earnestly.

Sam rolled his eyes, “He doesn’t have me under anything Dean, this is all me.”

“Yeah, that’s what you’d say.”

“Dean, I’m really going to need you to let them go, both of them,” he said gesturing to Dagon as well.

“Sammy,” Dean protested.

Sam sighed and lifted his hand. The knife flew out of Dean’s and into Sam’s in a blink of an eye.

Dean and Cas shared a look of disbelief and confusion before Sam raised his hand again and they were thrown against the wall with some invisible force keeping them stuck.

“Sammy!” Dean repeated this time in outrage.

“Dean, I’m going to need you to shut up for a second,” Sam said as Lucifer casually walked over to Dagon and let her out before walking towards and standing extremely close to him.

“Like hell I’m going to shut up! Sam that’s the devil, the actual devil. He tortured you for hundreds of years and now you’re all chummy with him! What’s your problem?” Dean yelled.

“Dean, trust me when I say I know this looks bad, hell let’s not sugar-coat it, it is bad. What I’m doing it’s bad, but Dean, I am sick of caring. I have given and given and given to you, to Cas, to this goddamn world and where has it got me? It’s gotten me tortured. It’s gotten the people I love hurt. And it’s gotten me dead. So yeah, I’m taking the easy way out, and I’m sorry there’s nothing you can do to stop me. So don’t try to help me, don’t try to save me… just try to move on and forget about me,” Sam said.

“Sam, you can’t expect me to just accept this! I will never stop trying to save you,” Dean barked.

Sam sighed sadly, “Then you will never stop failing. I’m sorry Dean, but this is goodbye.” Sam gave a final nod to Cas before he looked over at Lucifer and they were gone.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Sam left, the invisible force went away and Dean and Cas fell to the floor.

Dean couldn’t get up. He sunk low on his knees and looked around him without actually seeing anything.

He was blinded by grief and by failure. His little brother, the King of Hell, running off with the devil and there was nothing Dean could do about it.

Cas moved to Dean’s side and lowered himself on to his knees next to Dean. Cas put his arm around Dean’s shaking shoulders.

They didn’t speak. What was there to say? They’d failed. Sam was gone.

Dean didn’t feel any comfort by Cas’ warm touch, instead he felt lost and scared and alone.

It was like when Sam moved away to college. Dean had always known it would happen but it didn’t stop it hurting like hell when he actually left.

Maybe their dad was right… if he couldn’t save Sam; he’d have to kill him.

 

* * *

 

“Sam… that was quite an impressive feat you accomplished tonight.” Lucifer said pride littering his voice and smile.

“It doesn’t feel impressive,” Sam mumbled

“Oh?” Lucifer prompted.

“I just completely ditched my brother and my friend. There’s no way that can ever be fixed.”

“Does it have to be?” Lucifer asked softly playing with a piece of Sam’s hair.

Sam frowned in confusion.

“I just mean, when has Dean actually been that good or helpful with everything you’ve been through? He’s always been such a violent sort of person and I mean all those times he’s threatened you, all that hurt he’s put you through… maybe you’ll be better off without him.”

Sam sighed, “He’s still my brother.”

“Take it from a guy who knows, family isn’t always everything.”

“He’s all I’ve ever had,” Sam said looking down.

“Well,” Lucifer said lifting Sam’s face up softly, “Now you have me.”

“And I am yours,” Sam whispered.

Lucifer smiled in agreement. “Jump,” he whispered back.

“How high?”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow you made it to the end! I'm impressed. I'm thinking of making this into a series if people are interested but I hope you got some enjoyment out of this.
> 
> tumblr - iwishiwasinteresting
> 
> Thanks for reading and supporting!


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